📖 Yearbook

⚖️ Law & Justice

Most International Incident: The Supreme Court ruled that bounty hunters snatching a suspect from Mexico and dragging him across the border didn't violate any treaties—extradition, schmextradition!

📚 Art & Literature

Most Literary Murder Mystery: A debut novel about classics students at an elite Vermont college who commit murder became the dark academia bible for future turtleneck-wearing intellectuals.

🕯️ Famous Death

End of a Retail Empire Builder: The founder of a discount retail dynasty that transformed American shopping passed away, leaving behind thousands of stores and a legacy of 'everyday low prices.'

💾 Tech & Gadgets

Most Improved Windows: Microsoft finally gave PC users what they wanted—better fonts, better colors, and Minesweeper that didn't look like it was drawn with crayons.